Thursday, March 22, 2007

red wine definitely adds romance to the evening...

i've waxed on about the strange approach to sex and intimacy in this country many times. in some ways japanese society seems to be incredibly perverse, and in others it seems to be sexually retarded in the true dictionary sense of the word. to be so peculiar about sexuality, it never ceases to amaze me that the japanese manage to stay on the cutting edge of the sex industry.

Wine bath for the nads, mud pack for the sack pledges heavenly pleasure

Japan's ever-inventive sex industry's latest innovation is an adaptation of the facial -- a mud pack for the penis, according to Spa! (3/27).

Authorities have in recent years taken a harder line on the flesh trade, prompting operators to come up with up an increasing variety of services aimed at providing pleasure but circumventing the long arm of the law.

The mud pack for the penis, which follows a wine bath for the gonads, is part of an Italian-style esthetic treatment offered by a Tokyo-based service called The Aromani.

"A whole lot of operations similar to ours sprung up in a short time and we needed to provide a service nobody else was offering and this was it," The Aromani's boss tells Spa! "Our sales point is that we also offer variations, including having the service performed by multiple workers (groups of two or three women), or you can have it performed by a shy woman or another who'll do it while talking dirty."

The Aromani's boss says the service began with the motto of "providing health and beauty to the willy and anus."

The service involves using a hotel sink or face-washing basin and filling it with warm water and wine. This is aimed at improving the circulation. Instead of inserting the face, however, the client places their bottom in the bowl, allowing the penis and anus to be soaked in the suds of their sommelier.

Spa! notes that the washing is performed by at least one woman, who The Aromani insists must be in her 20s or 30s at the oldest.

Once the basic basin service has finished, the genitals are swathed in a chunk of mud supposed to cleanse the skin. Once they are completely covered, the woman (or women) providing the service, then show their handiwork, so to speak, until the client reaches climax, or what Spa! calls the "ascent to Heaven." (By Ryann Connell)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

when a pbj just won't do...

obento lunch boxes are the brown bags of japan. kids and fathers tote them to school and work each day half filled with rice and half filled with mouthfuls of veggies, fish, fruits and meat. stay at home moms apparently take great pride in their obento creations, perhaps rightfully so since they are definitley judged by those who see them. i can remember a co-worker dissing a male teacher's wife saying, she stays at home to take care of the kids but doesn't even prepare him a decent lunch box [he usually had instant noodles and fruit]. just ran across these pics that show the creative extreme some moms go to...

Saturday, March 17, 2007

billy, go start warmin’ up the engine! i’m ready to go!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Kobe

Feb 12 was a “substitute holiday for Japanese Foundation Day” [actually the 11th], which meant only 1 thing to the girls…roadtrip! at thursday night’s dinner we finally decided which cardinal direction to point our car, southwest towards the Kansai region, more specifically Kobe. It was a fun, refreshing break from home. West of Osaka, Kobe has a population of about 1.5 million, meaning it ranks near the bottom of japan's 15 major cosmopolitan centers in size.

This is evident in the neighborhood feel and the camaraderie that comes along with that. But it’s still large enough to support varied economic and social ventures, like international restaurants, tons of bars, museums, a busy port and shopping galore. we took full advantage of the retail areas where we ran across this cute lil fella.

waiting to stuff our faces...

We ate at a charming, eclectically decorated Italian place with the most incredible homemade pastas; I had the #1 cream sauce ever over pancetta, 3 types of mushrooms and fettucine. Heavenly.
Kobe is bordered to the southeast by water where there’s a memorial to the victims of a huge earthquake that struck in 1995 killing more than 6000 residents. they’ve preserved a section of a pier that collapsed and have tons of pictures and explanations and chunks of twisted metal and broken industrial bolts, etc. on display.

I was moved to tears seeing how humans, in a battered environment and fragile emotional situation, called upon sheer will and unceasing cooperation to rebuild the crippled city.
there is quite a promenade on the waterfront as well.

on it sits kobe tower which offered fine views of the long, narrow city…



there’s also a mad shopping complex that houses an even more insane buffet restaurant. we spent about 2 hours gorging ourselves on monday. i couldn’t get over the array of grilled/fried/sautéed/raw fish and fresh cooked noodle dishes [including a quality, not-too-greasy rendering of squid ink pasta]. the girls nearly lost it over the chocolate waterfall that begged you to drench fruits and cakes and pretzels in it’s warm cascades.
Kobe’s bordered on the northwest by mountains where we spent a day climbing the switchbacks [by car. we are only so ambitious.] and taking in the view and a few easy walks on Mt. Rokko’s 931 meter peak.


there’s a lookout point from venus bridge that’s a popular date spot.



lovers have taken to attaching padlocks with sweet messages scribbled on them to the bridge.

as there were relatively few locks when we visited compared to some photos i’ve seen, i’m guessing they are periodically removed from the bridge’s railings, undoubtedly smashing couples’ dreams and bringing about untimely endings to their relationships.


Back downtown, the evenings found us a little disappointed at the lack of dance clubs [Osaka is only 25 minutes away by train and draws the crowd from kobe every Friday and Saturday nite.] but the bars rocked.

We dined at this gothic jazz spot where the regular entertainers are a crazy, talented couple from Atlanta. Coincidences like that really make japan feel like it’s not on the other side of the universe after all. We also found a dancehall reggae bar that was pumping the genre’s quick, steady beats, which are usually accompanied by an intensely sexual style of dancing. it’s becoming increasingly popular in japan. This place was showing the “ms. dancehall reggae Jamaica” pageant, with some insane body/dance work that was as mesmerizing as it was vulgar. The Jamaicans in attendance were glad to teach us some tamer[?] moves.


there was a perfectly kitschy Chinatown where we munched on street stall food [that’s more hygienic than most of the grub you find in sit down restaurants in the real china].




We spent Monday afternoon searching for the architectural wonder that is the longest suspension bridge in the world, which turned into a hilarious exercise in futility. Lots of wrong turns, traffic, dead ends and then, to our dismay, the damn thing turned out to be part of a toll road expressway meaning it would’ve cost about $60 to drive over it and back. Boo. at the end of some non-road we accidentally ended up on. in a kinda subterranean cargo drop-off area, we caught a peek of the bridge through the metal fence that lined the sliver of a view. i was so hollowed by our pointless journey i couldn’t even be bothered to capitalize on the pitiful photo op.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Expedition Alaska:
part one

i just finished an online article about alaska’s grueling and highly respected dog sled race. the competitiors are 3 days into the Iditarod, which runs 1,100 miles from anchorage to nome, Alaska. the piece drummed up memories of a jolly Frenchman and a burly Canadian kid i met while in Alaska last summer.

i rode dog sleds with them and listened to their tales and dreams which were spun around competing in the notoriously taxing race that lasts about nine days in weather with a wind chill 90 degrees below zero. [all these facts according to the associated press.] and with that it seems appropriate to begin the installments about my Alaskan adventure. i truly regret that I’ve waited so long to record my memories; time always blurs the past, even when it’s as amazing as the couple of weeks I spent on the west coast of North America in late august of 2006. The scenery, new experiences, outdoor adventures, personal challenges and warm company combined to form a surreal vacation that can only be filed in the ‘truly amazing’ mental folder.
I flew into seattle’s airport and camped out, waiting for the arrival of nanny cecil [grandma] and patty and barbara [aunts].

It was the first time in about 9 months that we’d laid eyes on each other. The reunion was cheerful and promising; I was looking forward to some close knit family time as much as I was the seeing the Alaskan wilderness. I’d scoped out transportation to the port during my wait and had decided we should travel as the VIPs that we often pretend we are [how does that worn out phase go…when you’re hot you’re hot, when you’re not fake it.] we piled in a limo [nanny’s first time] and made our way to the ship docked in seattle’s busy port. As it was our first real family vacation [and my maiden voyage on a cruise ship], we’d sprung for the best. Upon arrival, we were whisked along by a personal escort to our spacious cabin with a balcony overlooking the forward deck and all that lay in front of us over the next 7 days. We popped the chilled bottle of champagne that was waiting and soaked in the view of seattle’s waterfront and the warm sun that danced on the surface of the sea.

Then, as drowning can ruin a vacation with the quickness, we obediently turned up for emergency preparation.

Our first day at sea was spent wandering around the ship, figuring out where things were, how to go about utilizing our debit cards to the fullest and locating all the tasty morsels we were entitled to under the ship’s rockin’ “freestyle dining” plan. This is before our snazzy dinner on the first evening.

It gives me a bellyache to recall the humongous amount of food that was constantly up for the taking…there were sit down restaurants that served during meal times, buffets that offered everything from burgers to pasta stations to pizza and sandwiches around the clock, a tapas bar, sushi spot, steak place and if it was in the wee hours or all that wasn’t doing it for you, a greasy-cheesy bar menu was always available. [by the time we returned to seattle, I quite literally couldn’t stuff another thing into my mouth. once i couldn’t even order at an oceanside seafood restaurant cause there was simply no where to put that much food in my belly. How disappointing knowing all the culinary adventures that lively city must have to offer.]
they misspelled our sign in the casino…

The ship made it’s way down the “inside passage,” a waterway that traces alaska’s southwest coast which is comprised of islands, coves, lush wilderness, steep mountains and ice.

This is when we started to realize the sunny weather of washington state wasn’t going to accompany us on the trip. Ketchikan was our first port of call.

It’s a small town, with a total land area of 3.4 sq miles, whose history centers on timber, fishing and gold. The girls split once we hit the shore, with patty and I heading for the rainforest. This was a stressful morning for patty; she was seriously challenging herself with an attempt at the zip-line ropes course. I was also a bit leery, not because I thought the heights or jumping off of tree stands was daunting, simply because I’d never traveled like this before. I usually prefer to plan and coordinate my own adventures, which takes a lot of work, but I think it produces incomparable personal experiences and singular exploits. it also lends a sense of accomplishment, that a seemingly tough task [traversing a foreign country on antiquated trains that leave from stations with broken signboards 16 hours after scheduled, for instance] has been conquered through sheer personal smarts and stick-to-it-iveness. Ok, so I’ll admit it, there was nothing bad about having someone else stress about my time schedule and transportation and decide where my lunch was coming from. The professionals were waiting on the dock to deliver us to our wilderness adventure. We suited up, as patty did her best to be a big girl.

4-wheelers carried us up precariously narrow, steep trails that ran along the border of the Tongass National Forest. after a brief training session we took to the sky, luckily while clipped to high tension cables.

there were 7 zip lines, stretching more than 4500 feet, between spruce, hemlock and cedar trees.

the shortest was about 175 ft, the most thrilling, a line called “ben’s revenge”, spanned 850 feet.

it was quite a rush to stand atop the towering 130 ft. tall platforms without railings, toes hanging over the edge, taking in the amazing scenery that included a salmon farm, reindeer, a waterfall and dense beautiful foliage.

as the wind blew, you could feel the trees you were perched in swaying. the pros explained that’s incredibly important because it means they are healthy and limber. if the trees become rigid, they’re dead and aren’t a candidate for a zip line platform as they’re in danger of snapping. there were also three aerial bridges that bent and swayed in an exhilarating, discombobulating way.

i’m proud to say that patty not only survived but was pretty damn good at the whole nerve wracking process, which involves drawing your legs up varying degrees at certain times, correct body positioning and braking yourself with a gloved hand that presses on the over head line. if you applied too much pressure in braking or didn’t cannon ball just right, you’d get stranded mid-line and have to perform a "self-rescue", which sounded laughable until people started getting stuck, dangling 130 ft above the forest floor by a carabineer. there were a few tears shed.

there were a couple ladies, beth and miriam, who had elected to try the ropes course in an effort to battle a fear of heights. they were a riot and truly earned the hokey medals we were awarded for achievement.


since i was a young tyke, i have been fascinated by oddball sporting competitions. i have espn to thank for introducing me to the world’s strongest man tournie, food eating competitions, sumo and the lumberjack tournaments. was it the woodchips, power tools, flannel sleeveless shirts? who knows, but i had a serious crush on champion mike sullivan back in the day, which meant i was overly excited by the prospect of watching a bunch of mountain dwellers axe and chainsaw logs in cut-throat competition in Ketchikan. patty agreed to join me, which in retrospect i regret cause i will never live down choosing this cheesy, tourist trap of an excursion.

there was real log rolling and serious tree trunk hacking, but there was no real competition. isn’t false advertising a crime? this was not the stihl chainsaw challenge i was looking forward to. if you could manage to let yourself be sucked into the contrived olden days atmosphere, bits of it were good for a laugh. most of it, only for an eye roll.

to be continued...

Thursday, March 01, 2007

how come we cain't act right?!







at least we [and my five fat rolls] are cute...