i survived the graduations

i made it through the mad graduation season. the rundown in brief sans photos of teachers drinking and students cause we know what a stir that'd cause...
that saturday was a drinking party with about 45 teachers from naoetsu high school in a local hotel’s banquet hall following their graduation ceremony. it was the first of these types of gatherings i’ve attended that had western seating, i.e. tables and chairs. as i only teach there for 3 hours on fridays, i’m not acquainted with many of the teachers and i’m still kind of a novelty. these parties are extremely social and fun. as with all these events, upon entering you draw a number to decide your seat. my table included one english teacher who i don’t know that well as we don’t teach together and 7 others i’d never met, which was perfectly fine with me. the first 30 minutes was spent honoring the homeroom teachers who had graduated classes that day, listening to their speeches and presenting them with gifts. then the kanpai speech and toast. for the next 30 minutes most people dug into the food, which surprisingly wasn’t all that great. then the mingling begins. using a tall bottle of beer as my ploy, i made the rounds, plopping down beside teachers i wanted to introduce myself to or ask questions of, and refilled their glasses as part of the traditional ice-breaking routine. many of the instructors i bow to in the hallways of the school but have no idea what they teach or what they are really like. initially most of the teachers are wary of speaking to me, instead they talk about me with others like i’m not present and are shocked when i reply in japanese to the questions that weren’t posited to me. after realizing i can carry on a bit of a conversation in their native tongue, they loosen right up. i was disappointed when they announced it was time for the ceremonial ‘bonzai!’ which is the official closing of the party. this time we raised our arms above our heads and roared ‘bonzai!’ 8 times, once in honor of each teacher of a graduating class. after the main event, there was a 2nd party held at a nearby karaoke bar. everyone was flitting so i was able to make the rounds. i also got roped into singing any and every English language song that any teacher borderline thought they might know the words to; the carpenters to celine dion. i will forever have a great memory of this quiet, distinguished teacher transformed; we were standing in the center of the floor between the parallel lines of tables, he was wearing his tie as a headband, starched white shirt unbuttoned, hopping towards me, thrusting his pelvis as we sang abba’s dancing queen. at some point i was using his tie to feign whipping him as he contorted his face in fake pain. whereas in america, this type of behavior would perhaps warrant taking sick leave to avoid facing colleagues the next day, here this is all perfectly acceptable and nothing to be embarrassed about. after an hour or so, that party officially concluded with a ‘bonzai’ and then the 3rd party officially commenced in the same bar at the same tables with the same participants. just another shred of evidence indicating how deeply entrenched they are in the idea of structure and regiment. quite a few of the teachers had already retired at this point and i was wondering who i’d rope into taxiing back towards my neighborhood with me to save a little expense when 2 of the teachers invited me on to a 4th party in takada. we daiko-ed [where the taxi comes with 2 men and one of them drives your car to the destination while the other follows in the company car. the japanese really have a lot of things figured out about the service industry] to suizokan, which means aquarium but is also some double entendre for drinking too much when you examine the kanji characters. it was a pe teacher, the man who owns the bar and works at naoetsu high school and me. the last time i’d gone out with this school’s staff, the teacher/owner watched out for me and this night was the same. he made sure i was following the conversation alright, introduced me to the other patrons and picked up the tab for my share of the drinks [well, since he owns the place he probably just wrote it off]. i bowed out a little early [about 2am] because sunday was minamishiro high school’s graduation so i worked 8:30 to 5:15 and then headed straight to our celebration held at a local sushi bar. another crazy few hours of beer and sake accompanied by interesting conversation with a few of my favorite teachers. the next morning, the alarm buzzes at 6 am. at 6:45 i begin my commute by bike, train and bus to yoshikawa high school for their graduation festivities.
en route to the school on a frozen morning

spent a couple hours in the morning shivering and freezing in the gym as i watched the ceremony. its so interesting that these three schools are vastly different in students’ levels, staff dynamics, geographical locations but still every commencement ceremony is identical, same red and white banners and decorations, same bonsai plants placed on podiums on the stage, same somber/stoic mood, same bowing regiment carried out by every student. at 5:30 we walked to a nearby restaurant for the obligatory drunk fest. the cuisine was excellent and plentiful this time, a trend common to ma and pop establishments that are off the beaten path. i caught the train back into town with a few other teachers and we stopped for a couple beers and some dumplings at a cute shop near naoetsu station. i’m into my 20th month living here and this was my second round of gradutions. these events highlighted an interesting dilemma for me personally. i’ve thought a bit lately about a social limbo in which i find myself, one in which i’m balanced between not being a novelty but also not being a full-fledged peer. i’ve been around long enough that most of the teachers are no longer curious about me and my antics but, at the same time, i can’t interact like true comrade or friend either. conversation, especially in-depth ones, are more labored than they would be with a japanese counterpart. i found that i enjoyed my time out with the teachers from naoetsu, those who know the least about me, the most. this realization emphasizes something i’ve known about myself for a while; i thrive in new, unknown situations. it’s also a little demoralizing because there is much more to me than the introductory conversations about ‘where ya from, whatcha like to do’ would reveal. unfortunately, i’m slightly disarmed of my wit and intellect as a result of the language barrier. i considered this problem before i came, realizing that understanding the nuances of culture and inter-personal interactions wouldn’t come easily. it’s honestly been much harder to meet people and gain true friends than i’d imagined. don’t get me wrong, i do alright, much better than some foreign cohorts, or i wouldn’t have made it this long. just an honest musing…